Confession // May 14, 2008
I have a confession to make.
I don't know why I confess things online. I really don't. Maybe it has something to do with responsibility of it, maybe its some kind of penance that I feel that I need to do in order to atone for my sin, or at least what I've though was sin. Whenever I post something like this, I know what the response is going to be, at least I think I do. People will shake their head and attribute it to being in
Who knows - here it is anyway.
I don't like to read the Bible. I never have. I really want to. I just never have.
Its so freeing to admit that. I don't even know why. The other night in-between sparing in the ring, I said that to my friend. I forget what we were talking about but I was like - "yeah, I really don't like reading the Bible. I find it just hard reading. It takes a lot of effort for me to read Scripture." He was aghast. He looked at me in disbelief, "but you're the chaplain..." He went on and on for a while. I started to fee guilty, like I was leading him down a road that would end up with selling drugs to kids or something.
Later that night, while we were talking, I (thinking out loud as I do, it tends to get me into trouble) reflected on why I feel that way about the Sacred Text. I have always loved the Bible, I have always enjoyed studying the Word, but reading it?
Therein, I think, lies the central issue. The Bible has always been to be something that we memorized as a family, it was a book that we read and reflected on. It has always carried a academic feeling to me. When I hear the grand Kings English (the 1611 KJV - is there anything else?), I think of warm moments around a woodstove in our farmhouse, furious debates in the basement of the men's dorm at Fairhaven, mind-numbing hours in Greek class, chapel's at the Dale Horton where I would pinch my fingers in the pages to stay awake, hours of classroom time instructing from its pages. The Word of God has always been a book to honor, study, yea, even worship. Spirituality is defined by how much you knew about it. I mean, you might feel something, but that's not important - what does the Bible mean?? That's real the issue!
I've found that my
Thing is, truth is so much bigger than that. Its so much more colorful.
A passage might actually have another interpretation that might actually be as true as the other. Two people can read the same passage in Scripture, be lead down entirely different paths and still both love Jesus.
I still don't much like sitting down and reading the Bible. My wife got me Eugene Peterson's The Message for Christmas. We started reading through it. For the first time I think, I found that I enjoyed reading the Bible. I looked forward to wading through a text.
Then I got deployed and here I am reading book after book about the Bible and have yet to crack it without the need to study it. Its not all that bad you know, only studying the Bible. Thousands of successful pastors do it every week.
Only, I don't want to read the Bible just to prepare a great message. I need it to speak to me. I need it to transform me. I need it to be what so many have said that it is - a living book! I need to want to read it.
In that feeling I think I have the want to. In fact, I know that I do.
I'm reading more now. There are days that I enjoy it, but sometimes, its still hard to get thought Leviticus...
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Iraq Part Dux... , Reflections3 Comments
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Chaplain Jon Fisher
I've read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation 37 times. None of it was as meaningful as when I outlined it as I read. It took about twice as long (30 min/day average, to finish in a year), but was the most meaningful experience in my 46 years of faith in Christ.
I think part of the problem is familiarity. As a student of the Word, many times you already know what the next verse or chapter is going to say... there's no suspense. However, since the Bible is God's only conduit for communication with His children, if we don't read it, we don't hear God.
I've heard my earthly father say "I love you" thousands and thousands of times, yet I never tire of it. Perhaps it would help to look at it that way. The Word is how God tells us He loves us. Even when He gives instructions to the Jews in Leviticus, it reminds us of His eternal love for His chosen people.
I must admit, there are times Bible reading is more of a discipline than a page turner. But usually the problem is me, not it. I've found having a plan is helpful... whether it be a chart or a printed schedule... it helps keep me on track.
ylf(i-l)
I think that, truth be told, many Christians struggle with this same issue. I mean, think about it- if everyone LOVED doing it, there wouldn't be so many campaigns to get people to! I have never seen anyone wag their finger and say "You better eat your cookies!"- nope, they say, "You better eat your vegetables!" People don't need to be told to do the things they love.
Not saying this is the way it should be- just saying that it is.
(I'm also not saying there aren't days or seasons that we all love to read the Word- but can anyone honestly say they ALWAYS love it??)
Make that 2 Army Chaplains that struggle with exactly what you described. Reading that post was like reading an article about myself. Thanks for writing it.
-Dave